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Friday October 20th 2017

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New older Father’s produce wise children: A message for new Dad’s 50 and over

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Just for a reference, 50 is the new 39. Secondly don’t sweat the small stuff (you got this).

By Don Allen, Publisher (Father) – Our Black News

Daddy quality time at the barbershop with #2. (photo: D. Allen)

Daddy quality time at the barbershop with #2. (photo: D. Allen)

My wife birthed our first child when I was 48. I never thought I would have children and never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would meet the most sophisticated, smart and beautiful love of my life, who said “I do” to a man like me; a good man, but a man determined to get society to answer questions by any means necessary.

Today with two boys, it’s common for me to worry about the future and what it will be like when they graduate from high school, go to college, get married and have a family of their own. I sometimes think about my mortality and if a father over 50 has an opportunity to stay around on earth and watch their children become adults. I find myself reading the obituaries each day and looking for men my age that have passed and thanking God for giving me one more day and praying for many more. This is what father’s over 50 do. For now, I live each and everyday for the well being of my family…this for sure will keep new father’s over 50 with young children feeling young.

As an older parent with young children, we have an advantage that others might not have. We have lived our lives, traveled the world, and seen things that others will probably never see in a lifetime. Our worst day is not some folk’s best, meaning that some people will not reach the level of excellence we command after a sleepless night, a high fever, or a pitched battle in the middle of an overnight addiction to Netflix; we get up, we work – things get done.

Our children will have the benefit from our experience about many subjects and the all so valuable advise that we, as younger men sometimes rejected because we were know-it-alls at a very young age, a quality embedded in every thread of our leadership matrix. Most of us, Baby Boomers (1946-1964) grew into technology understanding the uniqueness of a fast moving world and how that will affect what we teach our children during their formative years. Yes, its true, we remember not being able to call someone until we got home, or having to put a dime in a payphone, in a phone both to make a call. Our memories of the world are smarter; we remember gas at seventy-five cents per gallon, penny candy being a penny and times when you laughed so hard you forgot where you were.

Our children will know music; the sounds of George Benson, the Jackson 5, Earth, Wind and Fire, Steely Dan, AWB, The Temptations, Parliament Funkadelic, Aretha Franklin, the Rolling Stones, The Police, AC/DC, David Bowie and Al Jarreau (just to name a few, there are so many). They will know the inner-workings of Funk, Rock, Disco, Punk, Soul, R & B, Blues and Jazz (I left out Rap and Hip-Hop on purpose). They will be accurate in knowing this music did not come from computer-programed voice enhanced software, or a pre-programmable beat machine. Our boys and girls will value the music theory of George Duke and Stanley Clark; they will know the significance of crescendos, treble clefs and what sounds sharp or flat. Our children will appreciate the works of Beethoven to Sly and the Family Stone. We, father’s 50 and up will give a new generation of children back the meaning of music, sound, lyrics and meaning. #rapiscrap

We also know there is no replacement for hard work, sweat and doing it the right way the first time; a quality we will pass on to the little ones. Our children will be leaders, not followers. We hope they will question everything including us. We will embed the important traits of problem solving in real time, critical thinking and how to communicate effectively in small groups that will help to make a point, or complete a task on behalf of a group. Asking the right questions has never been hard for us, nor have we ever stopped questioning authority in the midst of conflict in good times and bad.

Because in our home both parents are college graduates. We demand that critical thinking start at eight months old. It is more than likely our children’s favorite toy will be a book, (or an ever popular T-Rex), and they will know how to operate an iPad, laptop computer and in some cases, our children have already mastered the iPhone 6…we know Apple products are better.

New father’s over 50 must understand the world we live in today will try to push us faster…but we know better…we are in control, outside forces have no bearing on our quality time, decisions and outcomes. We have been there and done that – our word is final and the decisions we make are based on experience and sound logic – nothing can compete against it.

I believe that people could be inherently put on earth to complete a mission. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to figure out the details of one’s assignment here on earth, but as long as time moves forward, there is change. Father’s 50 plus don’t have time for hope. Hope is for politicians who are born to believe in corruption and war

The best advice I could give, in my opinion, is live your life, love your children; treat your spouse like an angle from heaven and don’t stop what you been doing…it’s been good for you so far!

 

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